Day 2: Who has time for a schedule anyway?

It  is now 8:50 am. My cat is cuddling on my lap as I rest in bed. I'm only on the second day of trying to figure out how to make spiritual habits that work for my unique needs, and the schedule already feels thrown out the window. 

I'm trying to remind myself that this is life, this chaos of things to do, people to talk to, so many distractions and thoughts and feelings. I'm making the choice to take time now for my spiritual feasting, even if it doesn't follow the schedule I originally set out. 

For today's study I'm back in Woman of the Word. The scripture in 2 Tim 3:17 struck me: "That the [woman] of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." That's what this spiritual education is about. I want to be complete and equipped to handle this life. I know that if I can unlock a combination of prayer and scripture study that allows me to gain understanding from God, He will prepare me for the life he wants me to lead.  

So, I just read in chapter 1, Turnaround 1: Let the Bible Speak of God.

I feel like this section was written for me. The scriptures are about God. Of course they are! I know that....and yet, when I go to the scriptures it is frequently in a self-focused way. I am looking for comfort FOR ME. I am looking for direction FOR ME. I'm looking to be reassured, to be spoken to as if I was the center of the story. 

New flash: I'm not the center of the story. 

But God, and His son, Jesus Christ can become the center of my story. 

What kind of  a life would that be? 

It seems like it would be a life filled with Their peace. It would be a life in which the little embarrassments and challenges that I come up against would be anchored with God's plan, with God's will, with God's might. It seems like it would be pretty impossible to be swayed by worldly arguments if Jesus was the center of my story. It seems like it would be easier to give freely, to love without fear, to find joy. I think I want a life in which God is the center of my story. I think I want to learn how to read the scriptures to learn all about God rather than to learn about myself. I think I can trust that as His daughter, the best way to understand who I am is to know who He is. 

I'm excited! Exodus 3:14: I AM WHO I AM. My goal is to come to know Jehovah, the great I AM. 

I love this quote from this section: "The knowledge of God and the knowledge of self always go hand in hand. In fact, there can be no true knowledge of self apart from the knowledge of God. He is the only reference point that is reliable." 

Now to go enjoy some time in prayer and meditation, and maybe even writing in my journal! 

Day 1: And They're Off!

 Today I made time for my spiritual habit right after my youngest two we're on the bus. Mornings with kids can be absolute chaos and I'm in a space in my life right now where I often do have some time after they are off to myself. I'm still in my pjs, I'm honestly recovering on the couch from the stress and spoon drainage that is getting kids off to the bus, but I'm focused on my spirituality, and that's such a beautiful thing! 

I went to a book I have been considering for a long time, Women of the Word by Jenn Wilkin. 

I read the introduction. In it she talks about moving mountains one spoonful of dirt at a time. I really related to this analogy because at times my Chronic illness life feels like a mountain I am moving on spoonful of dirt at a time and I am so very limited on how many spoons I get each day! (See this summary of spoon theory)

Because I want to make sure that I am not ignoring the actual scriptures as I try to learn how to make spiritual habits that work for me, I then did a search for mountains in the scriptures. First off, wow! Mountains are quiet prevelant in the scriptures. They are often symbolic and are used frequently to draw us to know God, to have faith in Him and to overcome obstacles. Here are some versus I found powerful: 

Isiah 2:3 And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.

    The invitation to come is always offered from God to us. He is always willing to teach me His ways! 

Isiah 40:4 Every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low: and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough places plain:

    I adore the reminders that the way we on earth see things is often the opposite of God's perspective. Perhaps my weaknesses (my valley's if you will) God sees as great strengths. Perhaps he loves my rough and crooked places, because He knows how to make them plain and straight. 

Amos 4:13 For, lo, he that formeth the mountains, and createth the wind, and declareth unto man what is his thought, that maketh the morning darkness, and treadeth upon the high places of the earth, The Lord, The God of hosts, is his name.

    This is the God I want to come to know, this God who creates all things, who knows my thoughts. I want to take the time needed to come to know who He is. To see Him that I may become like Him. 

At the end of the introduction, Jen includes these questions for reflection. Here are my answers: 

1. My church pedigree is an inflexible one. I was raised "Orthodox Mormon" (That's not actually a thing, but I mean I was given really strict and often made-up parental commands around the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints). That inflexibility has made me severely judgmental towards what scripture study should look like. It tends to create an all-or-nothing mindset. 

2. I recognize that it is hard to trust in God when I don't make time for our relationship. I'm thirsty for spiritual sustenance in this chaotic world that is so harsh for me and my limitations. 

3. I have been taught erroneous doctrine since childhood. Much of it comes from pride- from a belief of superiority due to an ability to know the words of the scriptures without searching out their full meaning. 

4. I feel like I should be able to study the Word, after all I am currently going back to school for my second bachelor's degree so I know how to study. However, spiritual study isn't like book learning. Your heart and mind have to be involved. I honestly feel lost in part because how I studied as a young person who had different physical, mental, etc abilities doesn't work for me anymore. 

5. My biggest obstacle is finding a time for study that works, finding a method of study that doesn't put me to sleep or awaken the judgmental giant that loves to flail my spirit so harshly and figuring out how to include God in meaningful prayer that doesn't just reach the ceiling.  

Designing Spiritual Habits

 Faith is such an important part of dealing with my chronic illness. If I don't have the promise that God has a plan for me, and that all the trials of mortality will give meaning and experience to my life, I'm left questioning my value in some scary ways. 

This amazing image by Lightweave called: "The Finisher of Faith" sits in my front entry way. You can see it from so many places around the house and it is a constant reminder to me that Jesus Christ came to earth to be the finisher of all our human efforts. He knew I would make mistakes! He knew I would fall short. That is the plan and God sent Jesus to earth because he knew I would need a Savior before the world began. When I fall short, I am doing exactly as God knew I would do and every time I turn back to Christ, his hand will be outstretched to lift me up again. 

I know enough to know that having narcolepsy, I can't really build a spiritual foundation first thing in the morning or last thing at night like many people manage to do. I fall asleep just reading scripture verses. So this series will be exploring what Spiritual Habits actually work for me. 

As I begin this process, I'm just going to start with a simple prayer in my heart: May I be directed to the habits that will tie me closely to my Savior and to my Heavenly Father. May I find love for myself as I make time to feel their love for me.

Let's begin.  

 

Day 16: Brave Enough to Get Help

It took a single mom in her 50s, helping me weed my flower bed to make me understand what a blessing asking for and receiving help can be. 

She had just moved to the area, and we connected through a local Facebook group where I had posted looking for help with my outdoor space. As she helped me (she did most of the work, I'll be honest) we got talking. I learned that she had a teenage daughter and was so grateful for my post as she needed a bit of extra money to make rent that week. I had been gushing her praise for how well she dug up each weed and how fast she cleared things up, when she looked at me and stated simply, "you don't need to feel bad that you need help. If you didn't need help, I wouldn't have the chance to earn the money I'm short. That's how God takes care of us- by giving us each other."

I still remember how full of joy I was with her straightforward, kind way of looking at the situation. It was true, we both needed each other. We both were helping each other with unique challenges that were difficult in their own way. 

Ever since then I have looked at times when I struggle as God's way of pushing me to be brave enough to ask for help. I certainly wish that I was strong all the time. I wish I didn't have this chronic fatigue. However, I have learned to find joy in those who serve me and to do my part to serve as well. Sometimes that's staying positive when it's hard. Sometimes it's paying generously for help. Sometimes it's taking time to read a book to my girls as I cuddle them extra tight and give myself wholly to them in that moment. 

Chronic illness is no joke, and at times it can seem as though I need constant help. As I choose to look at needing help as a win-win situation, I find the courage and the compassion to get the help I need. When I'm brave enough to get help quickly, I usually avoid needing (though not always) massive amounts of help later on.

So be brave. Be compassionate. Be helpful in your unique ways as you ask for the help you need! 

Day 15: Dishes and Laundry

I just switched the laundry around for the day, and I'm back on the couch, taking a rest. Seriously, after a couple weeks seeing the results of just the laundry and load of dishes a day, I hope it motivates you! I certainly love the feeling of having a couple of things done each day!

Today, we're revisiting the dishes and the laundry in an attempt to help simplify HOW you are working to make these basic tasks, as simple as possible!

First, here are some tips on simplifying the dishes:

1. Store your most-used dishes where you can most easily reach them. We use a lower, not upper cabinet for our everyday cups, plates, and bowls that our girls can get to, and I can reach sitting on a walker/wheel chair. (Or even the floor.....)
2. Use easy-to-clean, children-sized dishes for everyday. Seriously, you'll eat healthier portions, and fit everything easily in the dishwasher without having to worry about things breaking.
3. Use fewer dishes whenever possible. We love large sauce pans that can handle everything in a single dish! We also often use our instapot for meals made with only one dirty pan!
4. Disposable dishes are used by perfectly healthy individuals who are overwhelmed with life, so use these time-saving dishes as needed!


Next, some tips on simplifying the laundry:

1. Simplify! Thanks to modern-day clothing styles and materials, you can clothe an entire family in forgiving materials that don't have special washing instructions, are mostly wrinkle-free, and don't require a lot of sorting. I do only 3 types of wash: whites, jeans, and everything else. See if smart clothing choices can make laundry easier for you! Get rid of clothes that don't serve you.
2. Have small containers of your preferred stain-remover where stains happen or where you remove stained clothing so you can treat them without extra effort. Ensure that your stain remover earns it's keep! We use Oxyclean Maxforce.
3. Don't do it alone! Your spouse, roommate, good friend, mother, can all help! Children can help with laundry sooner than you think. My five year old puts her laundry in, uses the handy spout on the Purex Laundry Detergent we use to fill the washer's soap dispenser, and starts her load. When it's done, our front loads mean she can switch the clothes around to the dryer. When those are done, a dedicated large Lamper allows her to empty her clothes and bring them over to me, where together we turn the clothes right side out and sort them into 3 piles for her 3 dresser drawers (folding kids clothes with a chronic condition......I don't think so!).
4. I've already suggested buying baskets for pre-sorting laundry, but if you haven't done this yet....seriously don't do work for the rest of your life that you could just skip over with the help of an extra laundry basket!

I hope these tips help as you seek to make the daily tasks of dishes and laundry as easy as possible so you can focus more energy on creating the life that works for your chronic condition.



31 Days to a Chronic Clean

Day 14: How to Make The Little's List Work For You

Well, it's day 14 and I hope you are seeing some real progress in your own mindset and in the space you've chosen. Before we get started on today, let's check in!

How are you liking the space that you've chosen? Think through the things that you've been able to tidy and/or keep tidy in this space and give yourself a mental round of applause for the effort!

How are dishes and laundry going? Are you settling into a schedule for these that works for you? Remember that when something isn't working, you have permission to change based on your needs. Validate your unique needs by accomplishing these each day that you can, with the limits of your body in mind.

Were you able to do some difficult "normal" cleaning like vacuuming and mopping? If so, you are a rock star!! Keep these tasks in mind on days when you have some energy and you'll soon find a pattern of living that works for you.

Today we're checking in on the littles list. This is the list of small, but annoying, deep cleaning tasks that we make on the basis of our bodies. I'd recommend trying to make at least one littles list a week, more if you feel super amazing.

So, how can we make this list work for our unique situations and our unique bodies? Here are some tips that I find helpful.

1. When the wave hits, ride it. If you are like me, nothing is more frustrating that wanting to feel strong and capable and having a day where that just doesn't happen physically. On the flip side, I adore it when I unexpectedly see a deep clean issue (like maybe needing to wipe down a particularly dirty mirror) and realize that my body has the strength to DO IT. When these waves of strength and capability hit, ride them. Make a quick littles list and work to see how many you can cross off before your body needs a break. These waves are like little miracles, so relish them and celebrate them to help accomplish the littles list you've made.

2. Be smart when making and completing your list. Not all days (or weeks or months) are created equal for perfectly healthy people, and they are certainly not all created equal for chronic-sufferers. Be smart about what you put on your list, and how you complete it to accommodate the difference. Weak on the couch? Maybe your little list for today consists of two items- clean/sanitize your mobile phone and the end table next to you. Maybe you grab a Clorox wipe or two and work on these little tasks bit by bit over an hour. Guess what?! That is still deep cleaning! It's still getting things done that make your home cleaner and make you feel productive. Give yourself all the credit in the world when you cross those littles off, and know that good days will come again....someday.

3. Try, try, try (and relish your tenacity). My body often does NOT feel like it can get up, walk across the room, grab a rag and go complete a little that I've listed. My arms feel weak, and just thinking about it, I swear I start to feel a bit dizzy. The more I think about doing a task, the more it seems like I'm asking my body the impossible. It's important to be safe, but it's also important to just give it a try. Just start by sitting up, then by standing. See how you actually feel starting on a task and let this determine if it is a safe time to try or not. Sitting around thinking about it, for me, causes my body and mind to become paralyzed with fear that I'll fail or fall or whatever. Just starting to put one foot on the ground, then another, I often find that I do have the strength for a little something, and I feel AMAZING when I sit back down and I've completed a task that I was unsure I could do. Even when I can't complete it, I congratulate myself on trying and set a timer to try again after I rest.

4. Mentally Break it Down.  The littles list is meant to be small. No item should take more than five minutes. Maybe for you, this seems way easy (it's certainly not meant to be overwhelming) but for me, sometimes I need to break it down even more. So, I take a little (say dusting) and mentally I start to break it down (and chant it in my head to keep me focused). This is what it looks like when I'm mentally talking to myself :)

Me: First, grab a rag, next wipe off the piano, then wipe off the shelf, last sit down.

Literally, I will repeat this four step process in my head, removing each item as I complete it. It just so motivating to know that in four short steps I will have finished a task!

Here's hoping that these tips will help spark ideas on how to make the little's list work for you!



31 Days to a Chronic Clean

Day 13: What is "Deep Clean"?

Today, we're touching on a subject that many cleaning books and schedules will go over, often with monthly or bi-weekly tasks that keep deep clean items on a regular rotation.

So, what is the definition of deep clean? Basically a deep clean is all the tasks that a regular clean wouldn't cover that you'd be expected to complete before selling your home, or leaving your rental. We're talking wiping down the insides and outsides of cupboards, cleaning behind the stove and fridge, cleaning the inside of the dishwasher, washer, dryer, etc.

These tasks only need to be done every six months to a year. They certainly aren't a main priority for people with  chronic conditions (unless your condition requires a hospital-level of sanitation). They are something to keep in mind, however, as some of them can help extend the life of your home appliances.

Today, we're going to determine what deep clean items we want to worry about, and which items are less important. This way, we can customize a schedule that suits our family, our budget (if we're hiring this out), and our unique needs.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

Some appliance cleaning tasks will help extend the life of the appliance. Certainly this is a great place to start with your deep cleaning schedule. See this guide on what tasks will help your appliances last as long as possible.

Some cleaning tasks will make an impact on you personally and your condition. These positive-impact items should be done more frequently to help you give yourself the tools you need to do your best with what you have. (Think washing windows inside and out to get a clear, beautiful view outside, sanitizing all around the bathroom if you have a condition that drags you in there all the time, ensuring your home's filters are changed/cleaned regularly if allergens pose a threat).

Hiring out a deep cleaning may be a great way to get caught up, or just check these items off. According to Angie's List expect to pay an average of $227 for a whole-home deep clean. See day 6 to see how to earn money from home to help cover this expense.

Here is my deep cleaning schedule, based on my needs. Yours may look very similar or quiet different, just be sure to think through what your circumstances need.


Every-Other Month

• Clean and sanitize:
• Fridge
• Cupboard fronts (and insides as needed)
• Bathtub/showers
• Behind and around the toilet
• Oven inside
• Wash:
• Windows
• Doors
• Walls and baseboards as needed
• Run a sink full of water and cleaner down disposal

Every Six Months

• Replace/Clean
• heater/A/C filter
• Filter in washer/dryer
• Dryer hoses
• Dishwasher filter
• Oven filter
• Clean
• Blinds/drapes
• Storage Areas
• Replace fire alarm batteries

Every Year (or so)

• Hire/get help to do a thorough deep clean

Keep in mind, these are predicated upon my body's needs. What once I may have done monthly or bi-weekly, I'm now doing bi-monthly. Is it ideal? Well, no. Is it functional, yes! Surprisingly most people don't go around inspecting your blinds and such for dust when they enter your home, especially when you are stuck on the couch. 

Learning to live with your condition isn't expecting perfection, it's accepting yourself and the way you work with love. 

So, look around you, look at your individual needs and put together a schedule that although imperfect, is workable for you. Then remember that much of the deep cleaning that needs to be done can be helped by family and friends. The next time someone asks you "what can I do to help?" tell them, my blinds haven't been cleaned in ages, do you think you could do just a couple for me?

Then be sure to show your gratitude, no matter the answer. If needed, your blind's dust will wait for you to have a good day to get to it! 

31 Days to a Chronic Clean